Friday, June 1, 2012

Book Review: Break Through by Tim Clinton and Pat Springle

Break Through is coauthored by Tim Clinton and Pat Springle. It teaches a lot about people who suffer from enmeshment and isolation. Enmeshment is misguided devotion when someone tries to control our lives like they are our brain, which is enabling behavior. Isolation occurs when someone thinks they are not capable of being loved, which causes the cutting off of relationships to occur. It focuses a lot on the teenage years to help parents understand their children better. It also encourages the use of healthy boundaries to create safety in relationships, explains the difference between forgiveness and trust, and encourages people not to be disappointed when they are called to “God’s School of Suffering”.

The most important thing I learned in this book is that people in our world fear rejection, we want to be accepted. We rationalize being controlled and control others if we don’t refocus our affections through a lens of true friendship/love. We are afraid of being left alone so we excuse people who hurt us and enable their behaviors because they need us. Also, sparks will sometimes fly when you get closer to people that are true friends. Great relationships are based on healthy resolutions of conflict, not the absence of it. The lessons you learn with your connections among friends can help you when confronting people who have hurt you. I also gained a deeper understanding of four different kinds of trust…blind trust, passive distrust, aggressive distrust, and wise trust.

There was a lot that touched me in this book but I would have to say this is my favorite quote from the book:

“Appropriate boundaries allow you to be separate from others physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and to create safety in relationships… For one, healthy boundaries serve to keep the good in and the bad out. They allow us to enjoy and experience close relationships like never before-protecting us from harm but also offering safety to the other person.” (Page 139).

People who have hurt others or who are being hurt by the behaviors of others would probably benefit greatly from reading this book, although most likely they would have to be willing to admit they have a problem and be willing to want to go down the path of restoring relationships in a healthy way.

A sample chapter, audio and video interview, and other helpful resources for Break Through:

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Handlebar Marketing for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.


  1. Great review. I loved your insight: "Great relationships are based on healthy resolutions of conflict, not the absence of it." So true. This book is a game-changer for those who need help setting boundaries in their life. Some of us try to hard to control others; others of us allow ourselves to be manipulated, even bullied. This book addresses both these dysfunctions but offers real life examples of how to change.

  2. Thank you. I usually pray about these book reviews before I write them. I believe that the Lord gives me the words to say for them, so I think that these were his words. : )